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Elf Jokes


Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?
Because he had the drum sticks!

Where do you find elves?
Depends where you left them!

How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten!  One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other’s shoulders!

How long should an elf’s legs be?
Just long enough to reach the ground!

What’s the first thing elves learn in school?
The “elf”-abet!

One elf said to another elf, “We had Grandma for Christmas dinner”.
And the other elf said, “Really? We had turkey!”

What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?
A real Christmas Card!

What kind of music do elves like best?
“Wrap” music!

Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
Because he had low “elf” esteem!

Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log!

Santa rides in a sleigh.  What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!

Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because Santa had said, “No L!”

What’s another name for Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate clauses!

What kind of money do elves use?
Jingle bills!

Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin?
Cinder-”elf”-a!

How do elves greet each other?
“Small world, isn’t it?”

What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
Why, shortbread of course!

What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
“First, YULE LOGon”!

Who sings “Blue Christmas” and makes toy guitars?
Elfis!

Why do elves scratch themselves?
Because they’re the only ones who know where its itchy!

What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!

If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes!

Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

 

 

 

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